Hot & Cool Blog

What's the point here?

This sign is at the front of a business with a great reputation for their food.

Given that any business these days can get a merchant rate for Visa and Mastercard of well below 1%, why are they giving us a hard time?

50% online booking failure rate?

When I tried (again) to book a Hertz car online, their website once more showed the comforting message: We're sorry but we are unable to process your request at this time. A general application failure has been detected.

I completed the booking by phone and asked the helpful clerk if this happens often. She said it was about every second booking! This has been going on for months, but doing it by phone is actually faster and easier.

Grrr...restaurants fluff around and miss a huge sponsorship opportunity

I've been helping to organise sponsorship for a sporting group. They enjoy wide community support, there are lots of them, and most are well-paid young men and women. Customers you'd love...

There were eager offers of support from several restaurants who saw the opportunity, or at least the boss did. But where the wheels fell off was the execution.

All but one were unable to deliver simple photos of their venue, a few sentences about their business or details of the special offer they promised. All the things that were to go in the team's yearbook.

This team is very well organised (unlike many), and they really look after the sponsors. Last year they delivered several 100+ functions to the hotel that supported them. This time there's just one restaurant that will get all their business. Already I'm hearing rumbles from those who 'forgot' to respond on time. Tough luck fellas...

With, With, With Menus

Sometimes the kitchen want to show their best efforts but end up with too much of a good thing. I call it the 'with, with, with' style of menu after a local fashion chain's annoying jingle: 'this goes with this goes with this goes with this at Suzannes'.

Here's a sample spotted on the weekend. Reliable, simple mashed potato is once again interfered with: this time it's chilli/garlic, other times it's added pesto. Why not a simple mash just flavoured with butter?

There was also an amusing accompaniment for soup of 'croutons and rocket oil'. Start your engines? Ever since the fad of 'truffle oil', all sorts of scraps are being dumped into oils and vodka.

While i've got the scalpel out, I suspect the dessert prices will work against sales, as they are more than 50% of the average main course price. It's a common mistake.

Before you get comfortable, we have some bad news...

When I checked a restaurant's menu online, it ended with the following...

• Corkage costs $9 per bottle for BYO
• We do not accept BYO alcohol for groups of 8 people or more
• 3% surcharge is levied for Amex & Diners cards
• 10% surcharge on Sundays and Holidays
• The menu is seasonal and some items may not be available
• Please let our staff know if you have any allergies or food requirements that could cause a problem

OK, so customers have obviously taken issue with all of these in the past, and they feel the need to 'make things clear'. But don't take it out on me by writing in such a curt manner - 6 negatives in a row!

They need a good copywriter who can disguise the harsh truths...I'm sure the staff aren't allowed to use this 'headmaster talk' to the customers...